Second Years Celebrate Stats Course Completion

Co-written by Amielle Moreno and Eric Maltbie

Because it’s impossible to get a shot where everyone look good AND no ones biting each other.

     Neuroscience second years rejoice over the completion of the Statistics course for Biological Sciences. After the semester long experiment with early morning classes on Tuesday and Thursdays had ended, the Neuroscience students celebrated with an party to burn all remaining alpha. Preliminary data suggested that to reach 80% power, everyone should bring a plus one to the celebration and they were joined by n+1s and future Stat students. No missing data points were thrown out.

    Michael McKinnon summarized the feelings of many of the stats students with his Five Stages of Grief in Response to Missing a Statistics Quiz:

  1. Denial: It’s only 8:25, I can totally wake up, shower, get dressed, drive through traffic, park and make it to class in 15 minutes….
  2. Anger: This is just $#@^ing great! Of course, he has a $#@^ing early bird attendance quiz today. He’s never had quizzes in the first half of class before!! This is bull%*&!… f$#@^ing bull%*&!. He’s singling me out I bet, he knows I always show up late. He wants me to fail! %!@!*& $@! bald %!$*#&*!$!&*!!!!! (Editor’s note, the following strong language was removed in the best interest of Mr. McKinnon. Please contact the editor or Mr. McKinnon directly to receive the full transcript)
  3. Bargaining: I bet if I show up late he’ll give me half credit. I mean, sure I’m always late, but I show up pretty often. I’ll send him a nice email and explain that I don’t like getting up early. That makes sense, right?
  4. Depression: I’m gonna fail statistics!!!!! I suck at life!
  5. Acceptance: Oh wait, grades don’t matter anymore…
Guess who dropped by the party?

Highlights of the evening included professor impressions and the random distribution of shots, one of which was actually a shot of vinegar, to represent the chance of a false positive. That shot was unfortunately digested by an n+1.

This class was everything the upperclassmen said it would be, commented one student t. Tukey’s commented that it was difficult to take the instructor of the course, Dr. Murphy’s, commitment seriously due to his failure to post homework assignments in a timely manner. A significant amount of the group believed that the professor’s love for the game of golf was a bias to his productivity.

All in all, the students are happy to have completed this course and will be contacting the newly elected DSAC representative, Natty Chalermpalanupap, to voice their constructive feedback.

Bonferroni and have a great summer!


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